


All They Say is How You've Changed

by relised



Series: RIP; You & Me [3]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Blackouts, Concussions, Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, Recreational Drug Use, Sex, steve Harrington is hard to handle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-18 18:00:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16521977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relised/pseuds/relised
Summary: Being with Billy Hargrove was like standing in the middle of a hurricane and Steve couldn't get enough. Even if that leads to avoiding the kids and snorting coke to stay awake. It's all worth it if Billy stays, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one got kind of long so I've broke it into 2 chapters. I hope you like it! Warning: various mentions of drug use, beginning signs of addiction, and black out abuse scattered throughout.
> 
>  
> 
> Story title for the song "RIP" from 3Oh!3

Being with Billy Hargrove was like standing in the middle of a hurricane and Steve couldn't get enough. He lived for lunch period where Billy would pull him under the bleachers to make out, his big hands wrapped in Steve's perfectly styled hair until it stood on end like he'd been electrocuted. He loved Billy shoving him around on the basketball court, mumbling 'Plant your damn feet, Harrington,' under his breath with a grin. Steve spent the entire day begging the clock to go faster just so he could see that knowing look on Billy's face when they passed in the hall, a wink shared between them.

It wasn't like they didn't have alone time. Fuck, they had the Harrington's entire house to themselves almost 95% of the time. If Steve had his way, Billy would have already had him pressed against any surface possible, but Billy was taking his own sweet time.

"Patience, Princess," he had purred into Steve's ear the fifth night as Steve desperately tried to open Billy's belt buckle. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked; they'd shared the showers in the locker room plenty of times, and looking back at now Steve was pretty sure Billy had been checking him out. But Billy always held him at arms length every time Steve tried to get in his pants, an amused smile on his face.

"Don't you want me?" Steve whispered into his ear, working his knee between Billy's legs. He let out a whimper when Billy dug his fingers into his hips, effectively stilling his bucking hips. It was embarrassing, really, how much he wanted Billy to touch him. Billy sighed, pulling Steve closer to his chest before wrapping his arms around him. When he spoke, Steve could feel Billy's lips move against his temple.

"Of course I want you, Pretty Boy. But have you ever been with a guy before?" Billy asked, his brow raised while Steve frowned. "I didn't think so. And I totally want to take your cherry, but I'd rather not feel like I'm going to pass out if I take too deep of a breath in the process," he whispered, gesturing to his healing ribs as he pressed a kiss to Steve's temple. "Just give me another week then I promise I'll tear that pretty little ass up."

"But I could..." Steve says, squirming out of Billy's arms so he could kneel between the boy's legs, his hands shaking where they hovered over the obnoxious silver belt buckle Billy wore.

Billy grabbed Steve's wrist, squeezing until it literally hurt as he pulled Steve away from his belt. "Hey!" he growled out. "What did I fuckin' say? Just wait, okay?"

"I...okay. Jeeze, I got it," Steve mumbled, shaking his wrist free as he pulled away from the boy. Billy stared at him with a slightly dazed look on his face, as if he hadn't realized how hard he had squeezed. A door slammed downstairs and Steve knew his parents were home. "Just...Fuck, just let me talk to them before you come downstairs, okay?"

Billy nodded, sliding to the edge of Steve's huge bed. He leaned forward, letting his elbows rest on his knees, his head in his hand. Steve sighed, running his hand through Billy's curls before he left the room. He hesitated at the top of the stairs, idly rubbing at his wrist that he was sure was going to bruise.

"Are you going to stand there all night, Steven, or are you going to come acknowledge your parents?" A deep voice called, and Steve startled as his father excited his study with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"Uh, sorry. Hey Dad, how was your trip?" He asked as he hurried down the stairs, following the man into the kitchen. His mother stood in front of fridge, a generous glass of wine in her hand as she searched for something edible that wasn't left over pizza or Chinese.

"Uneventful," Greg Harrington said, idly flipping through the mail that had Steve had left in the basket in the entry way. "Even your mother behaved herself. Of course Jeffery didn't come on this trip..."

"Oh screw you, Gregory. As if you wouldn't have been in Mary Beth's skirt had I not been there," Alice said, slamming the refrigerator door shut as she took a large gulp of her wine. "What do you eat when we're not home, Steven? All I see is junk. We leave you money for groceries."

"Um...Well I don't really know how to cook much more than eggs and spaghetti," he said, not meeting his parent's eyes. "I've got some frozen meals in the garage freezer..."

"Maybe we should just go to the city," Greg said, flopping the mail onto the counter top. "We can go to that Indian place you like so much, dear. We can call the grocer before we leave in the morning, ask them to deliver real food to the boy."

"You're leaving again tomorrow?" Steve asked, chewing on his lip. "That's a fast turn around."

"We're off the Dublin for a conference your father is presenting at. Of course he forgot his black suit, so here we are," Alice said, rolling her eyes. "We'll be off to Milan once the conference is over and will stay through the new year."

"So you won't be home for Christmas," Steve asked, the ' _again_ ' left unsaid.

"Yes, well, we'll be sure to send your gifts early, Dear," she said, with another gulp of her wine.

"That's...no, that's fine. I, um, actually needed to talk to you guys before you go," Steve said, running a shaky hand through his hair. "Um, yeah. So, um."

"Please get to the point, Steven" Greg said, an unimpressed look on his face. Steve couldn't help the flinch that rocked through him as if his father had hit him.

"Right, so, um, My friend Billy, his dad kicked him out. Is it...Is it okay if he stays in the guest room? You know, just for a while until things work themselves at home?" Alice and Greg exchanged a look before pretending to be good parents.

"Why did his father kick him out? He didn't do anything... _illegal_ did he?" Alice asked. Steve pressed his lips into a thin line, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

"Of course not, mom. They just have a bad relationship and things got a bit tense. It's better this way. He just needs some place to go."

"You two aren't going to be throwing any wild parties while we're gone?" Greg said. "After what happened to that Holland girl...Right in our own backyard..."

"If he stays, your grades better not start to slip. They are already so...mediocre. What happened to Nancy? Wasn't she helping you with your homework? She was such a sweet girl."

"We, uh. We broke up," Steve said and as much as he hated it he could still feel the pang in his chest at saying it. "But Billy's super smart, he can help me if I need it. And we won't have any parties here, Dad. I promise. Please, he just needs someplace to go." The Harrington's shared another look before Greg nodded with a sigh.

"Your grades start slipping, he's gone, you understand? Principal Coleman knows how to get a hold of me."

"Got it, dad. Thank you. I...Just thank you." Greg nodded, pulling out his wallet.

"You're mother and I are going into the city for dinner. Here's some money, you boys eat something that's not take out. And keep quiet when you get home. You're mother and I need some sleep before our next flight." Steve let out a shaky breathe he hadn't realized he was hold throughout the entire conversation. He took the money his dad handed him, slipping it in his pocket.

"Thanks, Dad. Um, you guys have a good night. And a good trip, in case I don't uh...Don't see you in the morning." Greg nodded with a snort as Steve pressed a small kiss to Alice's cheek. He quickly left the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time to get away from his parents. The door to the guest room was closed, but he could see light peeking out from under the frame. He knocked lightly, pushing the door open once Billy called for him to come in.

"They said it's alright," he said quietly with his back pressed against the wall. He watched as Billy's body seemed to sag with relief, dropping face first onto the bed from where he had been pacing the floor. "Even gave us money to go to the diner for dinner."

"That's...that's great," Billy said, turning his head so he can meet Steve's eyes from across the room. Steve crossed the room and sat down next to Billy on the bed, his hip rubbing against Billy's shoulder.

"They're leaving again for the rest of the year tomorrow morning. Their just home on a fluke since dad forgot something. We'll have the place to ourself until at least after the new year," he whispered as he idly walked his fingers across Billy's tense shoulders.

"Are you okay with that?" Billy asked, head pillowed in the crook of his arm as he watched Steve.

"It's nothing new," Steve said with a shrug. "They're usually gone for Thanksgiving so that was nothing knew this year. They're only home every other year for Christmas. They typically just send something random from where ever they are and some cash as gifts. I'm used to it. And this year, I have the kids and Joyce and Hop so I won't really be alone. And...And I have you."

"Don't get sappy on me, Princess," Billy mused. He slowly reached a hand out and pressed it against Steve's thigh. "But...But I'll be here as long as you want me." Steve grinned, intertwining his fingers with Billy's.

"Rents are going into the city for dinner. Once they leave, want to head to the Diner? They have the best meatloaf and their pie. Oh my god the pie is to die for."

***  
Steve had fallen asleep in the guest bedroom with Billy, sneaking back into his own be early before his parents left for the airport. He had been woken up again by repeated phone calls, only crawling out of bed when Billy yelled through the door.

"I swear to God, Harrington, if you don't answer that damn phone I'm going to kill you!" It sounded like he had thrown something hard at the wall between them.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going. Jesus," he grumbled. He snatched the phone off of it's receiver in the hallway. "What?" He growled.

"Hi Steve!" A cheerful voice said and he groaned when he realized it was Dustin.

"What, Henderson?" Steve said, running a tired hand over his face.

"Can you take us to the arcade, Steve? Please? It's really cold and it's going to snow or we'd ride our bikes. You don't want us to freeze, do you Steve? Please?" Steve glanced at the door of the guest room before running his hand through his hair with a sigh.

"Fine. But I'm not driving your stupid asses around all day. You got it? I'll be to your place in half an hour. Be ready."

Steve slammed the phone onto the receiver, stifling a yawn as he shuffled down the hallway to find Billy. He pushed the door to the guest room open, yawning loudly again as he stared at the boy on the bed. His bruises had started to fade and he was almost back to his handsome self.

"Stop staring at me, Princess," Billy grumbled into the pillow.

"I was just admiring that hot ass. Can you blame me?" Steve slowly climbed onto the bed and pressed himself into Billy's back. Billy grunted, pulling Steve's arm around him as he burrowed further into the bed. "I'm going to run the kids to the arcade. Might run to the grocery since we don't have any real food. Anything you specifically want?"

"Burgers," Billy mumbled without opening his eyes. "Why are you letting those damn ankle biters boss you around?"

"It's going to snow, Billy," Steve said, his eyes rolling as he squeezed Billy gently. "They're not bossing me around, I just don't want them to freeze to death. They asked me because they know at least one of us isn't an asshole."

"Well they should know that about me by now. Not my fault if they're slow. And they're still bossing you around. Shut that shit down, Princess." Steve rolled his eyes. He pressed a kiss to the base of Billy's skull before he climbed out of bed. "Jessica Farley is hosting a party tonight. You in?"

"Oh...um. I mean, we can?" Steve said, hesitating in the doorway.

"When's the last time you went to a party?" Billy asked, twisting around to look at Steve with the sheet wrapped around his waist.

"Halloween?" Steve said with a shrug, staring at his feet. "The night that I met you and Nance and me split. Between letting my face heal from you beating the shit out of me and running extra patrols until we knew for sure that the Upside Down was closed and then you... I just haven't felt like it. Couldn't pretend to be fucking King Steve for those people."

Billy grunted, pushing himself to seated as he gestured for Steve to come back to the bed. When Steve was close enough, Billy fisted one hand in Steve's shirt while wrapping the other around his neck.

"We'll go tonight. I'll make it worth your time; you won't have to pretend to be the King. You'll see, baby." He pressed his lips to Steve's licking into his mouth as the brunette moaned. Billy grinned as he pressed his forehead to Steve's. "Go play chauffeur. I've got some errands to run, too. I'll see you tonight."

***  
Steve stood in front of the mirror, trying to get his hair just right. He was nervous, which was stupid. He'd ran this school since he was a freshman, but after everything that happened between the lab and Eleven and the upside down, and Nancy pointing out how bullshit he really was, he felt out of place. With his hair sufficiently styled, he stared at his reflection.

"Whatcha doin', Pretty Boy?" A voice said from behind him, causing Steve to jump. He looked up see Billy leaning against the doorway, a sly grin on his face.

"I, uh. Just trying to get ready, I guess?" He said, returning the grin as Billy sat on the edge of the bathroom counter. "Do I look okay? I mean, I've never really cared before. But everyone keeps talking about my so called fuckin' fall from grace and I feel like I've got to make an effort."

"You look hot, okay? Besides, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. You've got me." Steve grinned, moving to stand between Billy's spread legs. The blonde caught Steve's jaw and pressed a bruising kiss to his lips. He pulled away with a shit eating grin. "I've got something to take your mind off what everyone else thinks."

Steve took a step back as Billy pulled a small baggie out of his jacket pocket. He shook it slightly, the white powder inside dancing across the bag.

"You ever do blow before?" The blonde asked, sliding off the counter with a grin.

"Never done anything stronger than weed," Steve admitted as he watched Billy pour the contents of the bag onto the marble counter top. Billy formed the powder into four even lines. He pulled a twenty out of his wallet, rolling it into a thin straw before offering it to Steve. "Um, maybe you should go first? I don't know how..."

Billy grinned as he put the bill in his nose, pressing his finger to his other nostril. He quickly snorted the line, letting out a satisfied sigh as he leaned his head back. He handed the bill to Steve, a lazy grin on his face.

"You think you can figure it out, Princess?" He asked, letting out a happy laugh when Steve took it from him. Steve leaned down to the counter, quickly snorting the lines Billy had allotted to him. He leaned his head back with a cough, laughing slightly as Billy roughly pulled him into his arms. "You're so good, Baby. So good."

Billy kissed down Steve's jaw before pushing him to the side so he could take his last line.

"I don't really feel anything," Steve mumbled as Billy lead him out to the Camaro parked in front of the house.

"You will by the time we get to Jessica's," Billy said, a knowing grin on his face. Steve hummed, nodding his head along to Skid Row on the radio.

And Billy was right. By the time they had hit downtown, Steve felt more alive than he had in years. His skin felt like it was vibrating. The lights at the stop light twinkled like a thousand fire flys. The bass that shook the car felt like it was holding him up and he'd never felt better than this. He turned to look at Billy who was watching him, his blue eyes mostly black from his blown pupils.

"I want to feel like this all the time," Steve yelled over the music and Billy laughed as he shifted gears and sped through down town.

The party was in full gear by the time they turned down Carpenter Road, a collection of teens spilling out onto the front yard. Billy led the way through the house, pushing through the crowd to get to the kegs. He turned to look at Steve, a sly grin on his face.

"Keg stand competition?" He asked, raising a brow at his secret boyfriend.

"I'm so out of practice," Steve gushed, already moving to plant his hands on top of the keg. Billy gestured for a couple of guys from the football team to come prop their legs, scrambling to get upside down next to Steve.

"Ready?" He asked, putting the hose in his mouth as Steve did the same.

It had been even longer than Halloween since Steve had done a keg stand. He had spent almost the whole past year chasing after Nancy, and Nancy hated keg stands. Nancy barely tolerated parties. She was the reason he wasn't King Steve anymore. He'd fallen in love, had gotten soft. He glanced at Billy, the boy who made it look effortless.

"35...36...37..."

The crowd cheered them on. Steve could feel the blood rushing to his head, his lungs screaming in agony as the coke swam through him. His old record was 41. Billy had gotten 42. Steve wanted nothing more than to beat Billy, to wipe the smug look off his face whenever he talked about being the "New Keg King."

"38...39...40..."

"Come on Hargrove! You've got this!"

"41...42..."

Billy spluttered, spitting beer out as he swung off the keg. Steve held on for a bit longer.

"43...44!" Steve gasped as he took back his crown, wiping beer off his face.

"Guess you really are the Keg King," Billy said, throwing a wink at Steve as he swiped with mostly clean cups off a nearby table. Steve grinned as Billy handed him a full cup.

"You totally threw that," Steve said under his breath, rolling his eyes at the way Billy grinned.

"You needed it more than I do," the blonde said with a shrug. Bon Jovi's 'Run Away' was blaring from the speakers in the living room, and Steve led the way back inside. The song had been on the radio everywhere that spring, but Steve was still obsessed with it. The boys danced across the room from each other, too afraid to draw attention to themselves. That didn't stop them from making eye contact, Billy licking his lips every time he knew Steve was watching him.

"Steve! You're actually here!" A voice called behind him, and he turned to see Nancy holding Jonathon's hand. "You haven't been to a party in forever! We've been coming to the past couple hoping to see you, but since you never come I wasn't expecting to see-what's wrong with your eyes?"

"Oh, hey Nance. Jonathon," Steve said with a nod. He glanced behind him to find Billy, eyes searching until he found him at the base of the stairs. The blonde met his eyes, nodding his head as he slowly climbed the stairs. "Um, I just needed to get out of the house. I'm really drunk...Smoked some pot before I came."

"Huh, I normally can smell it on you," Nancy said, wrinkling her nose as she stepped towards him.

"It's the cologne," he said with a shrug, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. "I, uh. I gotta go. Need to take a piss." He pulled away, ignoring when Nancy called after him. Steve took the stairs two at a time. He quietly opened doors looking for Billy, letting out a shocked gasp when someone grabbed his arm and pulled him into the master bedroom.

"Wanted to get my hands on you all night," Billy whispered into the crook of Steve's neck, his big hands cupping Steve's ass. "Seeing you all blissed out."

"How do I feel like this all the time?" Steve asked, echoing his earlier sentiment. He let out a gasp as Billy pulled him closer.

"Don't worry, baby. I can keep you well supplied. I got some more back at the house. Wanna head home and I can finally tear into that pretty little ass?" He growled, biting at the pulse point at Steve's neck. Steve groaned as he tipped his head back, letting Billy kiss up his neck. He pressed one last kiss to Billy's lips before grabbing the boy's hand and pulling him out of the room.

Steve dropped Billy's hand at the top of the stairs, his eyes scanning the crowd as they quickly maneuvered around the kissing couple on the landing. He hesitated when he heard Nancy calling his name.

"I'll be right there," he murmured to Billy, pushing the boy out the door as he turned around to face the pixie of a girl in front of him. "What, Nance?"

"Where are you going? You haven't been to a party in months and you're already leaving? And why were you with Billy?" Nancy asked with her hands on her hips. Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I just remembered why I stopped coming to these things. And you know Billy's staying with me since his dad kicked him out. We're going home. I'll see you at school on Monday." He turned to walk away when Nancy grabbed his bruised wrist with cold hands. He hissed as the pain shot up his arm and Nancy dropped his arm quickly.

"Are you okay?" Nancy asked, trying to pull up his sleeve to get a look at his wrist.

"I'm fine, Nancy. I've really got to go or Billy's going to leave me here."

"I mean, do you guys want company? I mean maybe Jonathon and I can come over and rent a movie and we can order pizza or something?" Her wide eyes searched his face, worry evident.

"Seriously, it's fine, Nancy. Billy and I are just going to hang out. You and Jonathon don't need to babysit us. I'll see you Monday." Steve turned away, not looking back as she called his name.

"You okay?" Billy asked as Steve dropped into the passenger seat.

"Just take me home and have your fucking way with me," he said as his head lulled to the side. Billy grinned, shifting into gear as he sped down the street.

***  
Billy sat propped up against the headboard of Steve's bed, a battered copy of The Outsiders open in his hand. His free hand gently rubbed up and down Steve's back as the boy slept next to him.

Since he had moved in with Steve, Billy hadn't really seen the guy sleep more than two hours at a time. The bags under his eyes were starting to get intense and he always seemed a little wired from the constant stream of nicotine and coffee running through his veins. Billy never asked him about it, already wrapped up in too much of his own bullshit.

Steve on coke had been the most alive that Billy had seen him since that night in the Byers kitchen. The way his eyes shown as he danced through Jessica's house had given Billy a true glimpse of who King Steve had really been. And the sounds he'd made as Billy swallowed his dick into his mouth had been the most glorious sound he'd ever heard.

Steve had came down hard after he came, his eyes slipping closed as Billy had kissed his way up his torso. He had thought about waking Steve up, convincing him to do another line so he'd have the energy to fuck Billy into the bed. But then he had remembered how the boy never slept so he decided to just let him have this. Billy wasn't tired, so he had grabbed a book from Steve's bookcase and pulled the brunette closer to him as he waited.

He was almost the fourth chapter when a whimper escaped Steve's lips. Billy's hand on Steve's back froze as he watched the grimace cross his face. His eyes twitched behind his eyelids as he shook his head against the pillow.

"No," Steve gasped out, his hand balling into a fist against the sheet. "Stay away from them!"

"Steve," Billy murmured quietly, his hand pressing gently between the older boys shoulder blades.

"No! Please, no! Don't hurt them! No!" Steve's breath came out in panicked huffs as his whole body seemed to spasm below Billy's hand. "Stay away from them! Dustin!"

"Steve!" Billy said, his voice louder as he gently shook Steve's arm. He woke with a scream dying on his lips, glancing around with wide eyes as he panted. "Hey, you with me?" Billy asked, once again slowly rubbing his hand up and down Steve's spine.

"I, uh...Yeah. Fuck, I'm sorry. Nightmare..." Steve said, letting his face fall into the pillow as he tried to catch his breath.

"Do you...Do you have those often?" Billy asked quietly, combing through Steve's hair.

"Yeah, um... Most nights. I don't really sleep a lot...Not since the Upside Down..." Billy hummed his understanding and both boys sat quietly for a while.

"Is that what you meant when you asked how you could feel like this all the time on the coke? How you could feel that awake?" Billy finally asked, studying the exposed side of Steve's face while the other side was pressed into the pillow.

"Yeah. I didn't think I'd be so tired when I came down, though..."

"You get used to it," Billy said simply.

"If I could just do it when I can't stay awake any longer...I mean normally I just chain smoke and drink coffee. Or drink enough booze to pass out, 'cause I don't notice the dreams when I'm unconscious. If I can just do a bump to keep me awake..."

"I get it," Billy said with a yawn. "I can keep some around. Just let me know when you need it and we'll do it together. I can stay awake with you, too. Or I can stay awake when you sleep. Whatever you want." Steve nodded, pushing himself on one arm so he could reach Billy's lips.

"Thank you," he whispered, his breath ghosting across Billy's face.

"Of course, Princess. Now, think you can get any more sleep? I'll be right here the whole time." Steve gave him a small smile as Billy pulled Steve close. He slept peacefully through the rest of the night.

***  
As soon as Dustin had pulled his bike into the bike rack he took off across the parking lot towards where Steve's BMW sat. The senior was leaning against his car, joking with Billy as the blonde chain smoked. Upon seeing Dustin, Billy rolled his eyes.

"I'll see you at lunch," he mumbled, dropping his cigarette and grinding it out with the toe of his boot.

"Steve! Is he really still staying with you?" Dustin asked. He chewed on his lip as he searched Steve's face.

"You know he's still staying with me, dumbass," Steve said, rolling his eyes behind his Ray Bans,

"I still think that's really dumb. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. You're coming to Mrs. Byers tonight, right?" Steve raised a brow, tipping his sunglasses down his nose.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"The big dinner, remember? Mrs. Byers was going to feed us all and we were going to do presents early and stuff. We planned it weeks ago!" Steve felt his stomach sink as he watched Dustin's excited face.

"Oh, um. Shit, yeah I almost forgot. Um, I'll try to make it, okay? I just have a lot of homework and you know I'm not good at that shit and I left it to the last minute and I have a lot due next week before Christmas break..."

"Maybe we can help you?" Dustin offered. "Nancy and Jonathon will be there and they're smart."

"Just...I'll try, okay? Can Jonathon pick you up? So I can try to get some stuff done?"

"Oh, um. Yeah, sure Steve. But you'll try to make it, right?" Dustin said, visibly deflating into front of Steve.

"What did I just say?" Steve said, his hands on his hips. He sighed when the first bell rang and he quickly pushed off his car. "Get to class, Dustin. I'll try to make it out tonight."

Steve crossed the parking lot without looking back, able to feel Dustin's eyes burning into his back. Billy was waiting next to Steve's locker when he got there, ignoring everyone else that walked past.

"What did the nerd want?" He asked as Steve pulled his books from his locker.

"Joyce is throwing a pre-break dinner out at their house tonight. Big dinner and early Christmas gifts and stuff. We planned it weeks ago and I totally forgot." Steve said, slamming his locker shut at the boys walked down the hallway. "I was going to invite you, but I forgot and it's tonight. I mean, do you want to go? Because I'm sure Joyce would be happy to have you there. We don't have to! But, uh, if you wanted to we can."

"I have a better idea, Billy whispered into Steve's ear, trying not to stand too close to be obvious. "I picked something else up from Danny, my dealer. Something that will make you feel good, baby. We can pick up where we left off Saturday night."

Steve glanced down the hallway were Nancy and Jonathon were sharing a kiss before turning back to Billy with a grin.

"Make me feel good."

***  
Steve grinned mischievously as he pinned Billy's wrists above his head. He kissed him, moaning as Billy passed the dissolving tablet on his tongue into Steve's mouth. He reached for another tablet the he pressed into Billy's mouth, wanting them to be on the same level. Billy grinned against his fingertips, sucking Steve's middle finger into his mouth. Steve let out a gasp, the air rushing out of him as Billy flipped their positions so Steve was pinned to the wall.

"You're so fucking perfect," he mumbled into the brunette's hair, his hands wrapping around Steve's waist as he pressed his knee between the boy's legs. Steve moaned, titling his neck to give Billy better access to the pulse point.

"Take me upstairs," Steve groaned, trying to stifle the peel of laughter that escaped him as Billy picked him up. "Wait, no! You can't carry me! You're going to drop me on the stairs."

"Don't you trust me, Pretty Boy?" Billy grinned, forcing Steve to wrap his legs around Billy's waist. He wrapped his arms below Steve's ass, tightening his grip as climbed the stairs slowly. Steve looped his arms around Billy's neck, kissing a line down his jaw. Once he made it to the top of the stairs he dropped Steve onto his bed. He threw his arms up in the air, his eyes manic. "I told you I wouldn't drop you!"

Steve grinned as he pushed himself to the edge of the bed and started to wrestle with Billy's belt buckle. He licked his lips as Billy's pants fell to the floor and as always the blonde was sans underwear. Steve grabbed Billy's wrist and yanked him onto the bed, hiking his leg over the boys waist as he once again pinned his hands over his head once again.

"You gonna fuck me, Pretty Boy?" Billy growled into his ear, fighting to work his hands free. Steve ground his jean-clad ass down over Billy hard cock, his heart jackhammering in his chest at the sound Billy made at the action. "Fuck, you gotta open me up, baby. Think you can do that?"

Steve grunted, rolling off Billy so he could get better leverage. He let go of Billy's wrists, gesturing to the top draw of his night stand. Billy groped blindly, coming back with a bottle of lube. Steve slicked his fingers, hesitating at the tight ring as he met Billy's eyes. Billy nodded slightly, gasping as Steve pressed his index finger past the ring of muscle.

"Yeah, baby," he coached Steve, his breath hitching as the boy curled his finger. With the ecstasy coursing through his system, Billy felt prepared to take more pretty quickly. "Another," he gasped as Steve pushed a second finger inside. He arched his back as Steve stretched him open, adding a third finger when he was sure Billy could take it.

"Oh, god. You are...So fucking beautiful," Steve gasped, watching as Billy's deep blue eyes rolled back. They were mostly pupil at that point, but so gorgeous in Steve's mind. His skin tingled, burning slightly everywhere he touched Billy.

"Please," Billy begged. "I'm ready. Just give me more." His breath hitched as Steve withdrew his fingers, his chest heaving as Steve rubbed lube onto his cock. "How do you want me?"

"Oh..." Steve said dumbly, his hand freezing where it was wrapped around his dick. "I want to see your face. Can...Can we do that?"

"I just have to be a bit more flexible," Billy said with a grin, waving his hand to gesture Steve to hurry up. Billy reached around for a pillow, lifting his hips to get the angle right. Once he was finally ready, Steve met Billy's eyes as he lined his dick up against Billy's hole. "Let's go, Princess!"

Steve moaned as he pushed into Billy, moving slow until he bottomed out. Billy whimpered, his fingers digging into Steve's arms.

"Am I hurting you?" Steve asked, his voice breathy.

"Just move," Billy gasped, moaning as Steve did just as he asked. His moves were frantic, no real rhythm to it. He was sure that the only thing keeping him from coming immediately was the drugs. The sounds Billy was making below him were down right pornographic and Steve didn't know how long he was going to be able to keep it up.

Billy reached up, wrapping his hand around his own cock and jerked in time with Steve's thrusts. His cock was painfully hard, precome seeping from the tip as he watched Steve above him and his cock twinged with each breathy moan Steve made.

"I'm so close," Steve gasped out, his thrusts becoming even more erratic.

"Me, too," Billy said, his head titling back. Steve continued to thrust into him, they're bodies moving together as one. Billy came first with a cry, Steve half a beat behind. He fell heavily onto the bed next to Billy, his chest heaving.

"That...that was amazing," he gasped. He could see stars floating above his head, his skin still burning where his arm brushed Billy's.

"Better than Wheeler?" Billy slurred, turning his head to watch Steve's face.

"So much better." They laid on the bed for a few moments before Steve climbed to his feet. He pulled his sweaty shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor next to his abandoned jeans. He crossed the room, hitting the switch on his boom box.

"Woo!" He crooned as Springsteen's Dancing in the Dark pumped through the speakers. "I love this song! Billy dance with me!" Billy lounged on the bed, watching as Steve danced around the room with his dick half hard.

"I'm good enjoying the view, babe," he called over the music as Steve spun in front of him.

"Just dance with me!" Steve cried as he reached out the try to pull Billy off the bed. The song was switching from Dancing in the Dark to Prince's I Would Die 4 U. He yanked on Billy's arm again, catching himself on the bed frame as Billy shook him off. He stared at the blonde in question, whimpering when Billy backhanded him across the face hard enough to send Steve tumbling to the floor.

"I said I don't want to dance with you!" Billy growled. He stared at Steve then, blinking slowly as if he wasn't sure how exactly Steve had ended up on the floor and a handprint on his face.

"I...um. I'm going to go get some air," Steve mumbled, pulling a pair of sweatpants out of his dresser before leaving the room quickly.

"Wait, Steve. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, okay? I'm sorry." Billy quickly climbed to his feet, reaching out for Steve's hand.

"No, I know. It's okay. I'm still going to just get some air. I...it might be E but I don't really feel well. I'll be back." Billy stood in the doorway, watching Steve sprint down the stairway with his grey sweatpants riding low on his hips.

"Fuck," Billy whispered, leaning back against the door as he dug his palms into his closed eyes. "What the fuck did I do?"

Billy waited for a couple minutes before pulling the comforter off of Steve's bed and following him down the stairs. He found the brunette sitting on one of the pool loungers with his ankles crossed, staring blindly ahead as he took a drag from his cigarette held in a shaky hand. Billy sighed as he crossed the patio and gently draped the comforter over Steve's shoulders. Steve didn't respond as Billy drug another chair closer.

"I'm sorry," Billy finally whispered, searching Steve's face. "I didn't mean to hit you. I don't... I did' even realize I was doing it until you...until you were on the floor."

Steve swallowed thickly, taking another drag without looking at Billy.

"I just...I don't mean to be like this," Billy said, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. "It's just...I just get so mad, like, all the time and I know its completely out of proportion to the situation like all the time but I just...I'm sorry, baby. I promise, I'm trying. I'll try harder."

Billy leaned forward again, wrapping his big hand around Steve's bony ankle. Steve finally looked at him, the red welt on his cheek making Billy wince. Those big brown eyes searched Billy's face before he finally nodded.

"It's okay. I know you...I know you didn't mean it." Steve stubbed out his cigarette on the cement under his chair before climbing to his feet and pulling Billy with him. "Lets just go to bed. I came down pretty hard and I'm exhausted."

"Yeah...yeah, come on babe. Lets go


	2. Chapter 2

_They were in the woods. Steve didn't know where exactly in the woods; it didn't look like the stretch behind his house or that by the Byers. Maybe it was by the quarry? He didn't know. All he knew was that he could hear demodogs in the distance._

_"Lets go, Pretty Boy," Billy said just ahead of him, his blue eyes shining under the moon as he smiled at Steve. "I've got something to show you."_

_"Billy, wait," Steve said, running to catch up to the boy, his head swiveling around as the creatures moved closer. He didn't have his bat; why would he ever go into the woods without his bat?_

_"We're almost there!" Billy called, quickening his pace as he pushed through the trees. Steve tried to keep up, tripping slightly over the tree roots. The demodogs were getting closer, he could hear teeth smashing together behind him as he tried to keep up with the blonde in front of him. Steve pushed passed the ring of trees before him, skidding to a stop taking in Billy's still form in front of him._

_"Bill..." Steve trailed off. The muscles in Billy's back seemed to ripple in front of him and the blonde ticked his head to the side as Steve walked forward slowly. "Billy, we need to get out of here. Can't you hear them? The demodogs are coming." Billy still stood with his back to Steve, seemingly not hearing him. "Billy!" Steve yelled, reaching out and grabbing Billy's shoulder._

_Billy turned slowly, a evil grin on his face. He titled is head to the side as he took a step closer to Steve. The moon hit his eyes as his face peeled back to reveal rows and rows of teeth. Everything in Steve's mind was telling him to run. Instead he could only scream._

Billy jerked awake at the horrific screams coming from the boy asleep in the bed next to him. Steve thrashed next to him, his limbs trapped in the blanket as he tried to get away from an invisible force. Billy gripped both of his shoulders, shaking him gently as his own heart hammered in his chest.

"Steve!" He yelled, tightening his grip as Steve continued to thrash. "Hey, come on. Wake up, Steve. Come on, baby, you're okay." Steve jolted awake, his eyes swiveling as he searched the room for a hidden threat. Billy leaned back, not wanting to be in head butting range in case Steve lashed out. "Hey, you're okay," he whispered, running his hand up and down Steve's arm as the boy trembled below him.

"I-I. Fuck. Jesus," Steve mumbled, tilting his head back as he tried to catch his breath. Billy sighed as he pulled Steve into his arms. He could feel the boy's wet breaths as he panted against Billy's neck.

"It's okay," Billy whispered into Steve's temple. "Just catch your breath." They laid that way for quite awhile, Billy rubbing his hand up and down Steve's back as Steve tried to calm down. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really," Steve whispered. "It's just...just more of the same, you know? Just another stupid nightmare because apparently my brain can't deal with this shit." Steve traced his finger over Billy's shirtless chest, picking out scars from years of abuse that Steve hated to think about. Billy let out a shaky breath as he found the scar from the chest tube between his ribs.

"When did he start...How long had he been doing this?" Steve asked quietly, titling his head to study Billy's face. Billy didn't say respond right away and Steve thought he was just going to ignore him. Finally the boy sighed.

"Nine years? It was...It was on my first birthday after my mom died. Six months after she died to the day. She died April 18th and I turned nine on October 18th. I thought...I thought my dad was going to do something special since it was my first birthday without her. But, uh, he didn't. He left me at the neighbors all day and went out and got drunk. Finally came and got me at almost 10 that night and didn't say shit about my birthday. Didn't get me anything or even acknowledge it.

"And, uh. Back then, I didn't know enough to keep my mouth shut. Fuck, I'm still not that good at it. But I was just so...so mad, you know? I missed my mom and I didn't understand why she was the one who had to get cancer and die and leave me there. I didn't understand why dad had been acting so different and I just... I just wanted things to go back to how they were. So I ran my mouth off. Was yelling at my old man about how he forgot about my birthday and how we were supposed to go the Go-cart race track out by the Navy Pier and we were supposed to have a special dinner and cake and all that stuff mom used to do.

"And he just took it, all quiet like until I was done. Then he fucking back handed me. We had been standing at the top of the stairs in the hallway and when he hit me I fell down the fucking stairs and broke my arm. And he just stood there at the top the stairs staring at me like he didn't know how he I ended up down there. And then just shook his head and locked himself in his room. I finally took myself back upstairs and waited until he left for work in the morning. I waited a bit longer then went back to the neighbors and said I fell out of the big ass tree in our backyard."

Steve was pretty sure that was the longest Billy had ever talked to him. He wrapped his arms around Billy, squeezing him tightly. "I'm sorry."

"There was no real pattern to it back then. If I was too loud or if I did bad in school, or if I brought people home he didn't like. We'd go months without him laying a hand on me then it would be pretty bad for a couple nights then we'd go for months again. I could deal with back then, you know?

"But then my dad met Susan. He was a totally different person around her. It was like she changed him and he had something to prove. Like him and Susan and Max were going to be this perfect little nuclear family and I was just the dog tied up in the back yard. He started getting worse right before they moved in with us. It was a constant. I swear if I ever have to go back there, Steve, he's going to kill me. I can feel it."

"Well I guess it's a good thing I'm never letting you go back, huh?" Steve whispered, pulling Billy closer to press their lips together.

***  
They worked out a pattern. Every third day Billy would get Steve high, helping him push through the sleeplessness for another day. Every fourth day, Billy would stay awake while Steve would fitfully drift off next to him. He'd hold Steve in his arms, gently waking him when the nightmares seemed to trap him. And then they'd start over gain.

Billy wasn't as big of a fan of coke as Steve was, preferring to drink or smoke pot while the brunette would snort all he could get while chasing that high. Billy figured as long as he was getting at least a little sleep during the week and not hurting anyone, Steve could continue to keep it up.

The Party was starting to get suspicious, though. Billy and Steve seemed to always be around each other and it was weird. Yeah, the guy was living with Steve now (which was a whole different conversation no one was really willing to have), but that didn't mean they had to be together constantly.

The kids were constantly asking Steve to do things for them; ride to the arcade, ride to each other's houses, be an extra player in their games, buy them lunch, do everything their parents should be doing. And Steve was trying to do his best to to keep them happy while keeping Billy satisfied. And more and more often that meant ditching the kids to spend time with Billy.

"I seriously have to go to the Byers tomorrow," Steve hissed as the cold metal of the locker pressed into his shoulder after their basketball game. It was the last game before Christmas break and the rest of the team had cleared out as soon as possible to go to a party at Mark Holly's. Billy and Steve were the last ones left in the locker room and Billy had immediately pressed Steve into the first hard surface he could find.

"Okay, Princess," Billy murmured into his neck, licking over his pulse point.

"Seriously. I've bailed on them every day for the past week. They moved their Christmas party to this weekend since I said I couldn't go last week. I can't keep blowing them off..." Steve hissed again as Billy bit his collar bone, sucking a mark onto his skin.

"Fine," Billy said with an eye roll. "Susan called and asked me to go into the city with her to do some Christmas shopping anyway. Apparently my old man's out of town and her way of making shit up to me is buying me stuff. Whatever. I guess I can take her up on her offer while you go play babysitter."

"That's nice of her," Steve said, gently pushing Billy back. "Lets go home. I want you to wear me out so I can sleep..." Billy snorted, chasing Steve to the parking lot.

The next afternoon, Billy left to go to Indianapolis with Susan after lunch leaving Steve to entertain himself for a few hours before having to go to the Byers'. He knew he had agreed to Billy's schedule of getting high. He knew coke was supposed to be addictive and that he shouldn't use it that often. But he had only gotten a couple hours of sleep the night before before he woke up screaming. Billy had held him after he finally calmed down but he hadn't been able to go back to sleep. And if last night was sleep night, Steve would have to wait two more days before Billy let him have any more.

Steve knew where Billy hid the stash, thinking he'd been sneaky by tucking it in the bottom draw of Mrs. Harrington's antique hutch in the den. Steve crossed the room in his bare feet, crouching in front for the drawer as he moved around dishes they never used to find the paper bag at the bottom of the drawer. He tipped out a small baggy of white powder with a grin on his face.

"Thank god," he mumbled, putting the paper bag back where it was and shutting the drawer. He took the stairs two at a time to finish getting ready in his bathroom. Steve tipped out have the baggy on his bathroom counter and used his driver license to shape it into two identical lines. He rolled a twenty from his wallet into a straw and snorted the coke up his nose. He threw his head back letting his eyes close in relief as he waited for it to kick in. Steve finished styling his hair and pulled on the obnoxious Christmas sweater Nancy had gotten him the year before and hurried out the door.

Steve drummed, singing along loudly to Prince's "When Doves Cry." The sun was setting and snow was starting to fall in front of his head lights. The song was just ending as he pulled in front of the Henderson's and Dustin came running out to the car carrying a bunch of wrapped gifts and a tray of cookies from his mom. Steve immediately felt guilt since he hadn't gotten any of them gifts. He figured he could tell them he would take them to the skating rink in Grovesport they were always talking about.

"Hi Steve!" Dustin yelled, handing Steve a cookie as he pulled on his seat belt. "I'm so glad you could actually come! Mrs. Byers didn't mind moving everything, we all wanted you there."

"Uh, yeah. I'm glad I could come too," Steve said, taking a reckless left turn out of the Henderson's driveway. He flinched slightly as the car he cut off laid on the horn but Dustin didn't mention it. "It's just between basketball and homework and dealing with all that shit with Billy's dad, I've just been really busy. I promise I'll start making time for you again. Sorry, dude."

"No, it's okay," Dustin said, studying Steve's face as they idled at the stoplight. He opened and closed his mouth several times before finally speaking. "Steve? Are you and Billy...Do you like Billy?"

"What do you mean do I like Billy? I mean obviously he's my friend now. I wouldn't let him live with me if he wasn't..." Steve said, glancing at Dustin nervously.

"That's...That's not what I meant," Dustin said, turning to stare at Steve's profile. "You're...You've been acting like when Lucas and Max started dating and when Jonathon and Nancy started dating. You know, blowing us off all the time and sneaking around. I mean if he was just your friend, you wouldn't have to hide it from us 'cause even thought it's stupid 'cause he literally smashed your face in. But we get you being friends with him. But you're acting like...Like it's... _more_."

Steve gulped, drumming anxiously on the steering wheel. He should have known that if anyone could put two and two together it would be Dustin. And he really wished the could have this conversation _sober_.

"Look, man. It's complicated. You can't...you can't tell anyone, okay? Because Billy's dad will actually kill us. Do you get that? Neil will actually kill both of us." He knew his eyes were wide and manic and Dustin looked terrified. But this was serious.

"I wouldn't say anything, Steve. I mean, the Party all kind of knows cause we couldn't figure out why you were hanging out with him all the time and he's actually started being nice to us sometimes? Mike said maybe it was the Mind Flayer again, but Max said it was because you were teaching him how to be _good_. And Will asked if you were like his Nancy, cause you know Nancy made you this like nicer person, and we all kind of looked at each other but no one actually said it. But if you and him are...you know...well I wouldn't care, Steve. I'm just more hurt you didn't tell me."

"I..." Steve started, his heart pumping out of his chest. "Billy doesn't want anyone to know. I mean, have you met his dad? Cause he has every reason to be scared of what he could do. It wasn't that I don't trust you, Dust. It's just...It's _dangerous_. The more people who know, the higher likelihood someone who shouldn't know will know...And besides, it's all so new. I didn't want to...to jinx it." He felt like he was too big for his skin and he needed to get out of this car. He gunned through a stop sign, taking a hard right up the drive to the Byers'.

"It's okay," Dustin said with a grin. "I get it. Just know you can tell me anything, Steve. Okay?"

"Sure, man. Got it," Steve said with a chuckle. He helped Dustin carry in his gifts, waving at Hopper as he made his way over to the crooked Christmas tree.

"Steve! You're here!" A light voice called behind him and he turned to see Nancy holding a bowl of mashed potatoes. Her eyes traced over his Christmas sweater with a huge smile on her face. The smile dropped slightly when she met his eyes. "Jesus, your pupils...Are you-."

"I'm fine, Nance. Don't worry about it," he said with a wink, turning away from her quickly. He sat down on the floor where Max and Will were explaining the Grinch to El while it played on TV.

"Hey Steve," Max said with a knowing grin and he figured Dustin was right that they all 'kind of knew.' "What did you do with Billy?"

"He went into Indianapolis with your mom to do some Christmas shopping. He said she was trying to bribe him." Steve said, leaning back against the couch after taking the piece of peanut butter fudge El had offered him.

"That sounds right," Max said while rolling her eyes as Joyce called them to the table.

After they ate spent the evening playing games; Steve laughed manically as he pulled a Christmas Cracker with El and she levitated everything to her after Steve won. He chased Will around the table after the boy stole his sunglasses, giggling as Dustin cut him off and body slammed him to the floor just in front of the couch. They laid there panting as Joyce started leading the kids into the living room to do presents.

"I'll be right back!" Steve called, jumping to his feet and heading for the bathroom. He had been starting to come down over the last hour and didn't want to crash in front of the kids. He closed the bathroom door, not noticing when it didn't click all the way shut. The Byers' bathroom didn't have a true counter so he found Joyce's hand mirror to pour the rest of the baggy in his pocket on. Steve rested the mirror on top of the closed toilet seat and pulled his driver license out of his wallet. He dug the rolled twenty he had stuck in his pocket earlier out as he brushed his hair out of his face. Steve had snorted one line and was halfway through the other when the door burst open.

"Steve! Hurry up we're doing p-!" Dustin cut off when he saw what Steve was doing. His mouth dropped open, his eyes wide. "What...What are you doing?"

"Fuck," Steve mumbled, climbing to his feet. "Dustin, man, it's not what it looks like."

"Yeah?" Dustin said, his brows furrowed. "It looks like your snorting cocaine."

"How do you know what cocaine looks like?" Steve asked, stuffing the rolled twenty back into his pocket and rinsing the powder off the mirror. His hands shook as he tried to keep his breathing calm.

"We've _all_ had the DARE presentation, Steve," he said, annoyance clear in his tone. "Why are you in here snorting coke? How long has this been-?"

"Keep your voice down," Steve hissed, pulling Dustin in the room so he could shut the door. "I don't do it often, just when I can't sleep and need the energy. It's not a big deal. But you can't tell anyone, okay? You have to keep this to yourself or I swear your ass is grass."

"I...Uh, yeah. I won't say anything Steve. I won't..." Dustin said, his voice cracking slightly. "Um, we're doing presents if you wanna...if you wanna come." Steve shook his head, already feeling around his pockets for his keys. The curly haired boy pressed a small wrapped gift into his chest. "That's from me. I made you a mix tape cause you're always showing me music and stuff. I just wanted you to know how much I...how much I looked up to you." He backed away from Steve shaking his head before scrambling to open the bathroom door.

"Fuck, Dustin, I'm sorry. Come on, man," Steve said, tightening his grip on the cassette as he approached Dustin.

"I...I think maybe you should go home, Steve," Dustin said. "I promise I won't tell anyone. We can just say you're sick. Just...just go." Steve nodded, his face red as he followed Dustin back to the living room. "Steve's doesn't feel good. He's gonna go."

"Are you okay, honey?" Joyce asked, pressing the back of her hand to Steve's forehead as she stared at him with worried eyes.

"Uh, I'm sure it's nothing. There's something floating around the basketball team and I think I just need to sleep it off. Um, thanks for dinner." He leaned around Joyce to acknowledge the kids sitting on the floor around the Christmas Tree. "I'm gonna take you guys to the skate rink in Grovesport after the new year. That's your present." He pulled on his jacket with shaky hands, nodding at Hopper who was watching him closely. "Uh, Merry Christmas if I don't see you guys before hand." He peeled out of the driveway as fast as he could, only stopping once to puke on the side of the road.

***  
Steve was in bed with the pillow over his head when Billy got home. He was surprised to see the Beemer in the driveway, figuring the boy would spend most of the night with the Little Nerds. Billy slid off his boots and hung his leather jacket in the downstairs closet. He walked slowly through the downstairs, turning off every light that Steve had left on before climbing the stairs. He stood in the door way for a moment or two just watching the boy before finally speaking.

"You're home early," he said, pushing off the doorframe as he pulled his shirt off overhead. Steve rolled over, knocking the pillow off his head as he watched Billy undo his belt buckle.

"I uh, I had a migraine. With all those kids screaming it was torture," he said with a shrug, laying his head back against his pillow. He stared at Billy with hooded eyes as the blonde shimmied out of his skin tight jeans. He crawled up the mattress, pulling Steve into his arms as he settled against the headboard.

"The whole get together sounds like torture," Billy mumbled into Steve's hairline. "You think you can sleep it off?"

"That's my plan," Steve said as his eyes drifted closed.

"Want me to stay up for you? In case you get any nightmares?" Billy asked gently, intwining his fingers in the hair at the base of Steve's neck.

"You don't gotta," Steve whispered, pressing closer to Billy's neck. "I'll be okay. I'm too tired to stay awake, anyway." Billy stayed awake anyway, tracing his fingers across the knobs of Steve's spine.

Surprisingly Steve stepped through the night, the worst nightmare being the horrified look on Dustin's face when he had walked in on Steve the night before. The sinking feeling in his stomach made him curl in on himself, pulling the pillow over his head again. Billy pulled him closer, his back flush against Billy's six pack abs. The blonde pressed a kiss to the back of his neck before yawning quietly.

"Morning, Princess," he whispered, pressing a kiss just below Steve's ear. "I have an idea." The next kiss was pressed to Steve's jaw, his head tilted just enough for Billy to reach. "I know I set the schedule but since it's Christmas Eve and all, wanna get high and watch A Christmas Story?" He pushed the pillow off Steve's face to press one last kiss to the side of Steve's mouth.

"I...I kind just want to lay here. I don't...I don't feel good," he whispered, pulling the pillow back down.

"Your head still bothering you?" Billy asked, his brow furrowed in what Steve would call concern on a normal person. On Billy it just looked weird. Steve shrugged in response. "You want some aspirin or something?" Steve shrugged again. "Okay. I'll be downstairs if you need me. My old man said I have to go to midnight mass with them tonight, but I'll come find you before I leave." Steve nodded, curling in on himself some more as Billy crawled out of the bed.

Billy spent the morning on the couch flipping through all those old claymation Christmas movies his mom used to love. His favorite was the Year Without A Santa Clause. They had taped it during Christmas when he was 8 and watched it every week in the spring of '76 up until when his mom died. It was just getting time for him to get ready to head over to his dad's house when someone pounded on the front door, scaring the shit out of him.

Billy stared at the door for a minute, wondering if he should answer it. He might live here, but this wasn't his house and who would really be here for him, anyway? The person on the other side knocked again and Billy decided to answer it. He swung the door open, double taking at Chief Hopper standing on the other side of the door.

"Hargrove," he said, his gravely voice serous. "Go get Harrington."

"Is something wrong? Are the kids okay? Is it the Gate?" Billy asked, trying to run through all the reasons Hopper may be asking for Steve on Christmas Eve.

"No it's not the Gate, the kids are fine. I need to talk to his stupid ass, now go get him," Hopper growled, his teeth clinched in annoyance. Billy glanced at the stairs before turning back to the Chief.

"He's asleep. You know the guy doesn't sleep like at all and I really don't want to wake him up. Can...Is it just something I can pass on to him? Or have him call you later?"

"I'm not leaving until I talk to him. He has the choice to come down here on his own or I will go up there and drag him down stairs myself. Now, Hargrove." Hopper towered over Billy and it reminded him of his dad. He swallowed thickly before nodding.

"Yes, sir," he said, climbing the stairs two at a time. He knocked gently on the door before pushing it open. "Steve?" Billy called, watching the boy on the bed. He sat down on the edge, rubbing at Steve's back.

"What?" Steve mumbled into his pillow.

"Hopper's here. And he seems pissed about something. He wants to talk to you."

"Fuck," Steve sighed, pushing himself up to sitting. Billy threw him a pair of sweats off the floor, watching him get dressed with his hands crossed over his chest. Steve didn't say anything as he left the room, jogging down the stairs to where Hopper was standing holding his hat. "Hey Hop. What's up?"

"Are you fucking stupid, Harrington?" He asked and Steve couldn't stop the flinch that ripped through his body.

"I-uh. What?" Steve stuttered, his eyes wide.

"Jesus, Hopper," Billy said, stopping on the bottom step behind Steve. "Was that necessary?"

"Did your boy here tell you what happened last night?" Hopper asked, pointing a finger at Steve as he made eye contact with Billy. "'Cause Dustin sure told me. Told me he walked in on Steve snorting coke off of Joyce's hand mirror while all six of the kids were in the living room waiting to open Christmas presents."

"I...I-" Steve stuttered under Hopper's gaze, backing up until he ran into Billy on the stairs. He had really thought Dustin was going to keep this to himself.

"I don't know what the hell has gotten into you kid. We trust you with those kids, they all look up to you. And I know what you were like before Nancy, I know we have no reason to trust you besides Dustin swearing you've changed. But have you? Getting high in the bathroom doesn't sound like it!"

Steve flinched, looking at his feet as the chief continued to yell. He had nothing to say for himself.

"You're not driving the kids around anymore, you hear me? You aren't watching them, aren't taking 'em anywhere. Not until you get your shit together. Your ass is lucky I'm not dragging you downtown for possession, you got it?"

"I'm...I'm sorry," Steve whispered, not looking at the man in front of him.

"I can't even look at you right now," Hopper grumbled, rubbing his hand over his tired face. "Get your shit together." He turned on his heal, slamming the door behind him as he left.

Steve immediately dropped to sit on the bottom step next to Billy's feet, burying his face in his hands. Billy moved to squat in front of him, his hand wrapped around Steve's ankle.

"You been using without me?" He asked quietly, watching Steve tremble in front of him.

"I was just so tired yesterday," Steve whispered. "So I did some coke before I went over to the Byers. And then I didn't want to come down in front of the kids so I went to do a bump and Dustin fucking followed me. I didn't want him to see, Bill. I didn't mean it."

"I didn't know you knew where the stash was," Billy said, searching Steve's face. "You know you shouldn't do that shit by yourself with how fucking tired you always are. That's how you get hooked."

"I just wanted to feel good," Steve said with a miserable shrug. Billy sighed, roughly pulling Steve to his feet and leading him up the stairs.

"I've gotta go to fucking church with my fucking old man. Do I need to take the stash with me, or are you gonna stay out of it?" Billy asked as he pushed Steve onto the bed. He turned back to the closet, flipping through his small section of clothes to find a blue button up to slip on. He stood in just his button up and his briefs as he did up his tie with shaky hands. "Hey! Answer me. Do I need to take the shit with me or are you gonna stay out of it?"

"I'll stay out of it," Steve mumbled, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Good," Billy said, leaning down to press a kiss to Steve forehead as he pulled up his dress pants. "Wouldn't have ever let you fucking do this shit if I thought you were gonna be a junkie."

"I'm not a junkie," Steve mumbled, grunting when Billy pressed another kiss to his forehead.

"Catholic Church here apparently does Midnight Mass at ten for whatever fucken reason, so I should be back around midnight or so. Don't be too hard on yourself, we'll figure shit out with the kid later." Steve nodded, laying back on his bed. Billy watched him for a beat before sighing and taking his keys off the dresser. "Later."

Steve waited just long enough to hear the Camaro rumble around the corner before climbing out of bed. He ran down the stairs to the den, pulling the bottom drawer of the hutch out. He dug through the paper bag until he found a small green tablet. He stared at it for just a beat before dumping it out of the baggy on his tongue. He sighed as the tablet dissolved on his tongue. He wasn't a junkie.

***  
Midnight drifted into one am before Steve heard the rumble of the Camaro. It sounded slower than normal and he wondered if it was snowing. Billy grew up in California and Steve doubted the boy knew how to drive in snow. He had spent the evening curled up on the couch next to the fire watching Christmas movies and forced himself up when he heard the Camaro rumble to a stop in the driveway. But Billy didn't come inside right away.

After what felt like hours, Steve swung the front door open to see what the hold up was. He froze in the doorway when he saw Billy sitting with his head resting on the steering wheel, a flash of blood visible in the overhead light of his car.

"Fuck," Steve hissed, hurrying down the walkway to the driver side door. "Billy?" He said worriedly as he wrenched the door open. Billy looked up at him with glazed eyes, a huge gash on his temple.

"Hey Pretty Boy," he croaked, his eyes slipping shut.

"What happened," Steve demanded as he gently pushed Billy back so he could reach the seatbelt release. Steve knew something was wrong; Billy never wore a seatbelt. He helped pull Billy to his feet, stopping when the boy swayed. They took two steps before Billy stopped to puke in the grass. "Fuck, Bill."

"Made me go in the house after Mass. Susan had fuckin presents for me so I went. Thought since it was Christmas he'd lay off me." They took a few slower steps to the house, Billy looking pale and nauseous the entire way. "He started fucking pushing me around and I didn't plant my damn feet and I hit my head on the corner of Susan's damn hutch in the dining room." Billy stopped again to puke in the bushes, moaning loudly.

Steve pulled him into the house and pushed him onto the couch. He brought the trash can from his dad's office and sat it next to the couch before running upstairs to get the first aid kit. He could hear Billy moaning as he scrambled to grab towels and hurry back down the stairs.

"Hold still," he whispered, pressing the towel soaked in peroxide to the gash on Billy's skull. In turn, Billy gasped before rolling over and puking in the trash can. He whimpered as he reached for Steve's wrist and tried to pull it away. "I know, it's okay. Just hold still."

"I had to take my car 'cause he would have fucked with it," Billy slurred, flinching as Steve tried to stop the bleeding. "I...I think I got lost on the way back. My head hurts so bad."

"I think you have a concussion," Steve said, chewing on his bottom lip. "Fuck, Billy I can't get the bleeding to stop." Billy turned his head to look Steve in the eye but immediately needed to vomit again. "Yeah, we're going to the hospital""

"No hospital," Billy moaned into the trash can.

"Billy, I can't stop the fucking blood and your brain could literally be bleeding. I don't care what you say, we're going to the fucking hospital." Billy looked like he wanted to argue but finally sighed. Steve slowly pulled him off the couch, one arm wrapped around Billy's waist as his free arm pressed the towel to the profusely bleeding gash on his temple. Steve struggled to slip on his Nike's that were sat by the front door, trying not to jostle Billy any.

"We'll tell them we were fucking around on the frozen pond out by the subdivisions entrance and that you fell. The whole being from California and not knowing how to deal with ice bullshit, okay? We don't have to tell them what really happened." Steve kept one hand on Billy's arm as he drove, taking the back roads so he didn't have to worry about stop lights. Billy sat with eyes closed, swallowing back the urge to vomit.

The emergency room was surprisingly empty and the nurses lead them back to a bed right away. A nurse started an IV as they waited for the doctor. Steve was so focused on the blood still sluggishly gushing from Billy's temple that he didn't realize he knew the nurse until she opened her mouth.

"Well if it isn't little Stevie Harrington," she said with a grin, winking at him as she pulled a pair of gloves.

"He-Hey Misty," Steve said, trying to give her a small smile but his attention immediately returned to Billy.

"I haven't seen you since you and my baby brother got so drunk sneaking beer at my graduation party Momma thought we were going to have to get your stomachs pumped. Jesus, how old were you then?"

"Uh, like thirteen?" Steve said, his cheeks burning. "I don't really hang out with your brother any more..."

"Yeah, well Tommy's an asshole," Misty said as she tied a rubber tourniquet around Billy's arm to find a vein. "Your probably better off without him. But who's this gorgeous boy you got here? Seems like an upgrade from my brother." Misty winked at Billy as he glared at her through squinted eyes.

"This is Billy Hargrove, Mist. His family moved here this fall. He was friends with Tommy for a bit, too."

"Your brother really is an asshole," Billy mumbled, spitting in the little pink bowl Misty had laid on his chest.

"Tell me something I don't know," she said, releasing the tourniquet. She hung a bag from the pole connected to the bed, before pulling a chart close to her on the little table. "Now you boys want to tell me what happened before the doctor comes in?"

"We were messing around at the pond out by the entrance to my subdivision," Steve said, watching Billy as he shut his eyes. "Remember the one we used to push Tommy in all the time when we were little? Well it's all frozen over and I was trying to teach Bill how to ice skate with just our shoes like we used to since he's from California and he's never been ice skating. Which was obvious when he fell and hit his head. Hard."

Steve trailed off when a grey haired doctor entered, pulling on his own pair of gloves.

"Fell on the ice, huh? My name is Dr. Davis, lets take a look at you," He said, pulling a pen light out of his breast pocket. He shone the light in Billy's eyes, ignoring the groan the boy let out at the sensation. "Yep, looks like a concussion. Nausea, vomiting? Light sensitivity?"

"Yeah," Billy mumbled, closing his eyes against the light.

"Right. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and stitch this cut up, then I wanna do a couple scans just to make sure everything looks okay. I wanna keep you just for observation for a little while. Your friend here good to stay with you?"

"Yeah," Billy mumbled again, swallowing thickly. He flinched as Dr. Davis started injected a numbing agent to the edge of the gash.

"What about your parents? I can have Misty here give them a call."

"No!" Steve yelped, his eyes wide. "I mean...They're out of town, went to visit his family back in Cali but Bill stayed here 'cause we had a basketball game. He's staying with me until they get back."

"Okay..." Dr. Davis said, arching a brow as he looked between them. "You eighteen, son?"

"Yes, sir," Steve said, puffing out his chest slightly.

"Good, we have to release him to an 'adult.' Hate to have to call the Chief out here on Christmas Eve." Billy swallowed thickly, his eyes drifting shut. With his eyes closed he could picture Hopper angrily yelling at Steve earlier that afternoon. It seemed like it was so long ago.

"I can take care of him," Steve said, studying Billy's face as the doctor swiftly stitched his temple closed.

"Okay, Misty'a gonna take you down to get a scan of your head. Your friend can stay right here." Dr. Davis said as he finished placing a bandage over the fresh stitches. Billy gave Steve a weak smile as Misty started to roll his bed out of the room.

"I'll be right here, Bill," Steve called, leaning back heavily on his chair. He'd been running on adrenaline since Billy had gotten home, and that and what ever high he had had from the ecstasy was long gone. He sat with his head titled back and his dug his palms into his eyes. Steve had thought that once Billy moved in with him, he'd never have to worry about what would happen to Billy at Neil's hands again. Clearly he was wrong.

It didn't take long for Misty to bring Billy back, the blonde's head lulling weakly on the gurney.

"Everything looked okay on the scans, Stevie," She said, locking the wheels of the bed into place. "No bleeding in his brain or anything. But Dr. Davis just wants to keep him here for a couple hours for observation. We gave him something for the pain, but you just gotta make sure he doesn't fall asleep, okay?"

"I, uh...Yeah. Yeah, I can do that, Mist," Steve said nodding furiously.

"Good boy," Misty said, patting his shoulder. "I'll be at the nurses station down the hall if you need anything. I'll be back to check on him later."

Steve waited until she was gone to bolt from his chair in sit on the edge of Billy's bed. Billy had curled up on his side facing Steve, his eyes drifting shut.

"You gotta stay awake, baby," Steve whispered, resting his hand on Billy's shoulder.

"'M awake," Billy muttered, forcing his eyes open. His bleary eyes studied Steve's face, taking in his worried expression. "My head..."

"I know," Steve whispered, running his hand up and down Billy's arm. "It's gonna be okay. Just try to rest with out falling asleep..."

The boys sat quietly, Billy struggling to keep his eyes open as Steve talked nonsense in his ear. They could hear the radio behind the nurses station playing softly and suddenly Steve was singing in his ear.

_"No one heard a single word you said. They should have seen it in your eyes, what was going around your head. Oohh, she's a little runaway. Daddy's_ -."

"Are you seriously singing _Runaway_ to me right now?" Billy said deliriously, rolling his eyes at Steve's goofy face.

"You like Bon Jovi!" Steve said, a small smile on his face. It faded slightly as he asked: "Or is it insensitive considering what happened the last time you tried to run away?"

"A little bit. Try something else," Billy said, closing his eyes again.

"Uh...what about that one song on the Springsteen album you like?" Steve asked, chewing on his lip.

"I'm on Fire?" Billy suggested, licking his chapped lips.

_"Yeah, that one. Uh, how's it go again? Oh, right," Steve said, squeezing Billy's shoulder again. "Tell me now, baby, is he good to you? And can he do to you the things that I do? Oh no, I can take you higher. Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire..."_

He continued singing softly and slightly out of tune in Billy's ear, pressing kisses to the skin below his ear as the younger boy trembled below him. When he finished the song, Steve pressed his forehead to Billy's shoulder, pressing another kiss to the hospital gown that Misty had made him put on.

"Steve?" Billy whispered, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Yeah?" Steve whispered back. Billy swallowed thickly before turning his head to meet Steve's eyes.

"I...I think I love you..." Steve gave him a small smile, his cheeks turning red.

"I love you, too..."

***  
The boys spent most of the week after Christmas lounging around the house, Billy still recovering from fits of dizziness and nausea. They would lay on the couch watching movies, Billy with his head in Steve's lap while Steve ran his fingers through the unruly curls. It was nice to not have to worry about anything.

Steve had only snuck two of Billy's pain pills in the three days since Christmas, which he thought was pretty damn good.

It had taken three days for Billy to start feeling more like himself. He was finally able to shower without feeling like he was going to fall over. The stitches in his temple itched but he could deal with it. After he got out of the shower, Billy sat on the edge of the bed with a towel behind his waist and watched as Steve snorted a couple lines off his desk. As far as Billy was aware it had been five days since Steve had used anything and Billy couldn't stop him.

"You want any?" Steve asked, hesitating over the last line. Billy shook his head no, leaning back on his elbows as Steve pulled the last of the powder in. "Since you're feeling better, what do you want to do for New Years Eve? I heard Tony is having a party. We can go if you want, can probably find a bedroom to make out in when the clock strikes midnight."

"Sure," Billy said, watching as Steve climbed to his feet and crossed the room to pin Billy to the bed, his legs sprawled over Billy's waist.

"God I missed being able To do anything I want to with you," Steve whispered against Billy's jaw. He slowly kissed down Billy's neck, licking across his chest and sucking one of Billy's nipples into his mouth. Billy hissed, trying to jerk away.

He always felt a little vulnerable after nights with his dad. Especially nights that land him in the hospital. Even if had been almost four whole days, he still felt like his nerves were on fire and that every could come crashing down at any minute. Vulnerability was one thing, but an over-zealous, high Steve above him was making him anxious, too.

"Slow down, Pretty Boy," he growled, squirming under Steve.

"You're so fucking hot, baby," Steve gushed, pulling at the towel wrapped around Billy's waist.

"Jesus," Billy grunted as one of Steve's hands lurched forward to get in his hair, pulling on the curls roughly. Some of that good ole King Steve passion thrown in his face. The brunette pulled his hair again, making Billy hiss as he squeezed his eyes shut.

_He was back in the tiny dining room on Old Cherry Lane, Neil Hargrove screaming in his face. The man kept pushing at his chest, pushing him back until he was slammed against the wall._

_"I'm not gonna have my son living with some faggot, you hear me William? It would be better if you were dead instead of fucking around with some man."_

_"I'm not," Billy had whimpered, trying to squirm away from his dad. Neil had growled, grabbing ahold of Billy's hair as he threw him across the room. Billy's head had slammed against the hutch he had helped Susan move into the house in September. It had weighed a ton._

_He sat up, blinking blood out of his eyes as Neil crouched down in front of him to yell some more. Something in Billy snapped; he couldn't take anymore. He lurched forward, wrapping his hands around Neil's neck and squeezing tightly._

_Neil sputtered in front of him, scratching pathetically at Billy's arm trying to get him to let go_.

_"Bil-Billy, stop. Le-let go!" Billy squeezed tighter, his eyes clinching shut. They flew open in a panic when a knee pressed into his ribs._

Billy's eyes flew open, his hands dropping away when he realized his hands were wrapped around Steve's neck. The boy's face was red as he gasped for breath, hand shaped bruises already forming on his pale neck.

"Oh my god, babe," he whispered in horror as Steve slid off of him, gasping for air as he groped at his neck. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He crawled towards Steve who had pressed himself against the foot rest of the bed. He reached a hand out to the shaking boy, pulling it away quickly when Steve flinched away from him.

"I-I-I'm okay," Steve whispered. "Just...just leave me alone. I'm fine."

"I swear I didn't mean it, baby. I was lost in my head and I...I'm so sorry." Steve nodded, pulling his knees to his chest. "Steve, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I love you, okay? I love you."

"I know," Steve whispered, letting Billy pull him into his arms. "I love you, too."

They laid close that night, Billy's chest pressed to Steve's back as he gently stroked the bruises forming on Steve's neck. Steve sobbed silently, his coke high quickly fading. Something changed that night, but neither boy was brave enough to admit it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned include: "Runaway" by Bon Jovi and "I'm on Fire" by Bruce Springsteen


End file.
